Weeks before I stopped going to church, I decided to attend the young-adult fellowship during the evening. Rarely did I go, but knowing it will be my last I went. The passage Romans 7:15-25 stuck out to me. Read again before bed. Holy Spirit wept.
15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16 And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17 As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18 For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
21 So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22 For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; 23 but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. 24 What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? 25 Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!
So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in my sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.
Why do we do what we hate to do?
Part of the question can be answered with a previous passage (Genesis 25:29-34) where a man sold his birthright for a single meal.
His desire for food had made him irrational: “I am about to die; of what use is a birthright to me?” (Genesis 25:32). Besides the spiritual aspects of primogeniture, the firstborn was to receive twice the inheritance of other brothers (Deuteronomy 21:17). ~ John Piper
We do in part for its quick quench of hunger. falsely ever satisfying, desirable, wrong. Reminds me of another passage:
but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death. ~ James 1:14-15
There is only one true vine. But with that known we do what we do not want to do.
“I am the Lord your God, who brought you up out of the land of Egypt. Open your mouth wide, and I will fill it. But my people did not listen to my voice; Israel would not submit to me.” ~ Psalm 81:10–11
They did not listen because, they did not really believe God would satisfy them. Days without earthly basic refreshments (food and water — and comfort and security and familiarity) they have gone through and instead of feeding on Him they fed on themselves. What would you do? For me I would certainly fail Him.
”… Searching God all my heart …” ~ Psalm 139 (Far too Wonderful) Shane and Shane
You wrote the story of my life
You go before you fall behind, yeah
Before a breath beyond my death
you are with me all the way
to everlasting
Oh I can’t run, I can’t hide
Even darkness is a light
From the lowest place to the highest praise
You are worthy
Amazing love how can it be
Far too wonderful for me
There’s only one thing left to say
You are worthy, oh
Search me God and know my heart
Try me, know my anxious thoughts, yeah
Find the weakness in me and lead me in the way
Everlasting
Oh I can’t run, I can’t hide
Even darkness is a light
From the lowest place to the highest praise
You are worthy
Amazing love how can it be
Far too wonderful for me
There’s only one thing left to say
You are worthy, oh
You formed me in my mothers womb
You know my frame, my flesh, and bone
Oh, how wonderfully made
Oh I can’t describe it’s way too hard
You see me through and through
and call me loved
What a wonderful grace, oh
Oh I can’t run, I can’t hide
Even darkness is a light
From the lowest place to the highest praise
You are worthy
Amazing love how can it be
Far too wonderful for me
There’s only one thing left to say
You are worthy, oh
Romans 1:22-24
22 Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools, 23and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images of mortal man and birds and animals and reptiles. 24 Therefore God gave them up in the desires of their hearts to impurity for the dishonoring of their bodies with one another.…